Sunday, January 27, 2013

Can we all just agree that "good people" who do "shitty things" are actually just "shitty people"?

Can everyone stop making the fucking distinction? Shitty actions equal shitty people. THE END.

Sunday, January 20, 2013

"How'd you spend your twenties?"

"Juuuuuuust hangin'."

Saturday, January 19, 2013

"I figured it out. You're Jennifer Aniston in Office Space. Watch this, watch this, listen to her speak...exactly these parts you're her. You look at me like that all. the. time."

Friday, January 18, 2013

He is colourblind.

"Can you tell, say, if things are neon?" she asked, before a triumphant smirk as she pulled her oversized t-shirt up to show hot pink lace hipsters.

"You're a fake dirtbag, you spend too much of your income on lingerie to really be a scuzz."

Thursday, January 17, 2013

I never scootch over past the middle seat in the back of cabs. I'm not sure why. Unless a third person is plowing in, but even then, I'm usually positioned in the middle.
Is this weird? Have I been making people vaguely uncomfortable every time I share a two-person cab and I sit right next to them?

Wednesday, January 16, 2013


stoned; taking carl jung's personality test online.

initial summation: highly over-analytical under-achiever with vague paranoia issues (presumably inherited from maternal side) and an inability to stem a waterfall of internal emotion (paternal). Requires hard work to be input before anything is appreciated, despite a history of having things arrive on a silver platter. All items must be unceremoniously dumped to the ground, outwardly ignored with great intensity and then rebuilt slowly from improper material before placed with great delicacy and love back onto aforementioned (recently polished) silver platter. Skilled in the art of wit and emotional manipulation, with the fastest laugh in the East.  At all times having fun, though exceptionally hard on oneself which occasionally comes across as bitingly negative when projected onto surroundings. Deeply, wildly caring though at times to-the-bone selfish, strikes pre-emptively. Extremely hopeful, fingers always crossed, 11.11 never unnoted, perpetually encouraging and steadfast in belief of an omnipresent silver lining.

actual summation: (significantly less detailed) ENFP
Extravert(33%)  iNtuitive(12%)  iNtuitive  Feeling(25%)  Perceiving(22)%
  • You have moderate preference of Extraversion over Introversion (33%)
  • You have slight preference of Intuition over Sensing (12%)
  • You have moderate preference of Feeling over Thinking (25%)
  • You have slight preference of Perceiving over Judging (22%)

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

A strange sense of disconnect from her hands, as if their motion was slowed. A millisecond of lag during which time no thought occurred.
Suburban Married Tuesdays, wherein she has a nail appointment first thing and he has a snooze. Keys dropped cavalierly on the table to be forgotten upon next exit. Mid afternoon wine spritzer tipsy, they are old.

Friday, January 11, 2013

Sometimes Juelz answers to "refrigerator".
It's a grey sky today, hazy and quiet, delicate.
New grey blinds filter the soft light, streetcar squealing like a Pterodactyl every few minutes, lazily allowing the road to pass it along like a tiny stream.
The window always open, because we are two furnaces.
Up and to put on the coffee, brush my teeth and then sneak back into bed, weaving my way through limb and blanket to splay over top of a chest forest.
Reading Zadie Smith and rolling around, and then coffee is ready so wake him up, lolling about in this perfectly soft jersey tee, to watch the Winnipeg news and check the highlights.
Single skinny candle lit out of habit, and the whole day exists under a quilt of ease, econo luxury, appreciation and muted weight.

Monday, January 7, 2013

And sometimes, things are like, pull your own shit together, you wiener. It works or it doesn't, you get it or you don't. There is no prairie handicap, just a prairie escape plan.

Sunday, January 6, 2013

photo dump

Taking advantage of the fantastically talented friends at my disposal, I asked Noah to use his leather working skills and make Tyler a little wallet and key holder.

Next, we see my continued transformation into 1950s housewife, a lifestyle I had no idea I would find so appealing.

Following this, we see that today's edition of Interpretive Cappuccino Foam features a peacock feather, or possibly, Pocahontas' breath.

Finally, No Parents Sunday at work means dramatic French cuffs on my custom Harry Rosen shirt.

Saturday, January 5, 2013


That Hershey's kisses now come with almond in the middle, thus bringing their level of appeal up from a 3.2* to a solid 6.4**?

Also, that white chocolate isn't even chocolate at all, which explains why it tastes like rotten sweetener?

Thirdly, that breakfast for dinner is the best meal of all time? Tiny rebellion !



Tuesday, January 1, 2013


"I'm so glad we have different slice criteria...cause that's not like, you know, like, a thing. But...that's kind of, well, the thing."