"My standards are so high I can't even masturbate anymore".

Your Monday Morning Good News!

How much does this rule?!

In Vegas, day who knows.

And here I was, thinking you would embarrass me with your choices.

And here you are, embarrassing the fuck out of me.

It's like the high road is just a funny joke to Winnipeg, like girls with fake nails and guys with fake teeth.

Yeah, that looks about right.

Man, you know how weird it is to run into someone you hung out with a lot a lot a lot for like a few months a handful of years ago?

Like, the dude you were dating's roommate or roommate's girlfriend. Or some other arrangement of those relationships. Or like, your super platonic bud that wound up single at the same time as you for a little while? Or the coworker of a good friend who needed a place to crash for like, three weeks but really five weeks but actually seven-and-a-half?

And then whatever frail but frequent bond you had disappears for whatever reason and you don't hang out and then you bump into them in Chinatown in the rain and it's like uhhhh....ahhhh....heyyyyyy...but then just before you're fully committed to the awkward inconvenient small-talk about what you've been up to these last couple years, you're just like 'lets get outta the rain and grab a drink' and then actually have the greatest time catching up and half-gossiping and sharing genuine opinions of past events and laughing outrageously.

PMA poster child these days.

Give a girl a weekend in the mountains with a spiritual guru, too many mushrooms and two yoga classes later, she's all "I'm a shaman, I am one with the earth."

"Umm...are we just sitting really close now?"

KRISTAL HATES SNUGS.

Lazily reading, lazily doing everything.

I'd like to use this time to formally apologize to my neighbours who have, right along with my roommates, been passively joined to my obsessive Gilmore Girls re-watching. These walls are paper thin and I can only imagine the cringes induced by the opening credits song.

We have only three episodes left.

Stay strong.

2013, phrase of the year.


Badler & Taco & CC forever.

Sitting on my balcony, in shorts and slippers. A large sweater wrapped and wrapped and wrapped around me, quilt across my legs. An old friend called blankets a hug without arms.

The sound of skateboards rises from the park, little chirps and wind rustling through naked branches.

This sunset too, as impressive as the exotic.

Quiet calm, the most reassuring of white noise.

'Blankets and matches, this pain in my chest. The best parts of lonely.'

Smoke haze from my fingers, hair piled on top of my head. A casual dizziness.

"My shirt has too many sleeves."

rrrriiiiiiiiipppppp

The world would be a better place if those little peanut butter packets were automatically sold with bananas.

"It's not so much that you were a difficult baby; it's more that for the first six years of your life you slept about ten hours."

I just really feel like I would've done well in the 70s.

I'm curious to know at what point Tyler remembers that this exists.

"See, us, right now, is why Workaholics is such a hit."

"I'm just planting the seed that you need to remember something but neither of us is quite sure what you forgot but it's a thing"

Yesterday I ate both of my favourite meals: a cheesebagel with double double from Tims, and an extra cheese pizza, lightly done.

Which is to say, that today I am starting my day with a run.