I resolve to be better.

At a party surrounded by girls who recognize each others lip colour, I wear my oversized t shirt and smile quietly into my beer, I don't know what to say to anyone.

Daily Ego Boost

Finding out your nickname at work is "Future Wife".

Thank god we have each other. There's no way anyone else thinks we're this funny.

It is seeing the little things, the tiny tidbits we offer up. Feeling them click, laying a quilted framework for skinny lines to follow.

9.37pm, just realized there is BBQ sauce on my pants.


...I haven't had anything with BBQ sauce since Monday.

Beloved by all! Hello office surprise!

3am pulled pork and pea poutine...I am as filled with self loathing as I am potatoes.

"Were you cold last night, sleeping in your little refrigerator box?"

Sassy staff and homeless hair are a hilarious mix.

Hi I'm drunk! These jeans haven't fit me in 6 years! Now they're too big! That's crayzayyyyyyy!

Gettin' cozy

Quick glances and lets talk stems, wine for lunch and little whispers.

"'Im in' always has better stories".

Love you twiiiiiiinnnnn

Show me something magical, show me delicate lace frost and the permanence of desire.

"Your nails were starting to get a little suburban divorcee".

My autobiography will be called A Lifetime In Red Pants. Alternately, How Red Trousers Changed My Life. Alternately, Little Red and Her Party Pants.

Honey we came to dance

It's no tiny show in Brooklyn, but it is my favourite band with my best girlfriend. And then Trusty Chords to follow, and a little sneeze of what waking dreams can be.

Reference

Quilts, manic office hours, latch hook rug, quiet reading, $$$, Juelz Juelz Juelz Juelz, cozied up, huffs of warm breath, soft prickles; like blue spruce, tiny ornaments, envelopes of body, shared spaces, lone wolves, empty pages, full thoughts, trusty chords, midday breakfast, greasy eggs, warm oven, cinnamon and vanilla, peace. Quiet. Time.

My entire instagram feed is puppies.


Which is to say, I have achieved Internet-nirvana.

Things I Want (a list)

- time off
- a bunny
- new yoga pants (only to be worn in comfort and priv-acee of my own home)
- time to pick up my sewing machine
- visa to mail me the statement that says I owe them NOTHING (!!!!!!)
- a manicure (will shortly be upgraded to "need")
- more sleep
- my wine opener (maybe on Tyler's desk? Hard to say)
- spa appt
- black blazer
- one half slice bumble berry pie with caramel vanilla ice cream
- the time to make a bumble berry pie
- just, more time

Happy birthday to one of the best people I know! Crustwell, you little gem. To the next ten years of friendship (I hope, cause I've got your name tattooed on me, sooooo...)!

Hi!

Crowning glory.

When people say "count your blessings" I am like "each individual hair?"

It is flattering to the extreme to have Chef put a lobster chowdah on the menu and specify that it is in tribute to my New England roots.

Now maybe next time we go out after service, I won't drunkenly debate football (IM SO GOOD AT IT NOW) to strangers in a showing of Bostonian pride.

IM LISTENING...

NOBODY PANIC!

HERE ARE FUN THINGS TO DO IN THE SNOW:

- make snow angels (on cresswells lawn)
- snowball fights
- tobogganing
- snowboarding
- playing King of the Castle
- Krazy karpets
- burying treasure
- sliding on metal grates
- throwing Juelz into snowbanks
- hand holding in the snow
- catching snowflakes
- putting out reindeer food (more on this later)
- jumping from spot to spot so you leave as few tracks as possible
- trying to make the loudest possible crunch when you walk across packing snow
- snowmobiling!!!!

Oh god, hot chocolates in front of the fire and wool socks on our feet. Little nose buried in beard and sweaters forever.

Stress dieting 101

These pants were tailored perfectly to my body exactly one month ago. In fact, I sent them back to be slightly loosened because the bum was very...glove-like.

If only I'd known.

live free

If anyone needs me, my little Libran feet will be resting on my bed while I lay sprawled on my back on the floor, smoky haze surrounding tiny fingers and Jezabels playing as loudly as possible. It smells like caramel and leather here (how fitting, my room would take on the same scent as a good Scotch) but the walls still need more, they always need more.

ALL OF THEM

"These are going to be so good to look at in 30 years."

The entire day, with Polaroids. Tiny snaps of happiness as easy as falling leaves.

Happy one year anniversary of moving to Toronto!!

A dozen of these little darlings arrived for me at work on Saturday. We dispersed them throughout my room on Sunday, finding homes in tiny bottles and previously forgotten vases.

I'm 25!

Birthday indulgences:

- sleeping in (until 7.45!)
- walking halfway
- Americano for the road
- standing on the escalator

If anyone needs me today, I will be singing outrageously along to Usher and hammering the final nail into the coffin of my youth

A perfect day off.
How I feel on a daily basis, Swar in his natural habitat, punkin pie (times two! And lovingly delivered to our chefs this morning. Why did I offer to make food for men who have built their entire lives around how good they are at making food?), laundromat selfie, pumpkin chai doughnuts with buttermilk glaze - our first co-bake, sharing skills - and a warm glass of cider.

Another Tuesday and I smell the leaves, they're dying in my city.

YOU GUYZ

tonight I am going to go out, drink some wine, order a charcuterie board, catch up with some amazing pals, and then go home, put on sweatpants (I am looking forward to this part so much it's uncomfortable), and look for fun old stuff on Craigslist. I might even bake some thangs. I. Can. Not. Wait.

Tomorrow, Tyler is taking me birthday shopping after we sleep in and have office hours and its going to be the best thing in the world.

My schedule is starting to have end times, which means I can go back to feeling like I'm in a relationship and quit being sketched out by every girl in the world.

In one week I turn a thousand.

Accidental Hand Hold: the Chelsea Clark Story.

It hurt me, physically, to sign off on my 80-hour paycheque.

Thankful thankful thaaaaaaaankful

I baked oatmeal-apple muffins for breakfast before we put on our best Thanksgiving plaid, and followed with dinner for two (on a time and skills budget). A quick scratch-card for dessert and a record as gift, and then rushing back to work.

Later my tiny ribs will be enveloped in arms and my bangs will get tucked behind my ears.

The nicest of holidays, the most authentic.

Remember when changing the outgoing message on the landline machine at your house was the coolest thing?

Good morning, welcome to my blog of selfies.

tiny luxuries:

standing on the escalator
double-crossing an intersection
forgotten Globe & Mails

sounds of the city

I don't mean to be overly dramatic, but if the next two weeks are like the last two weeks (arrive at 8am, leave at midnight, 7 days a week), I am probably going to walk into* traffic.

Even the happiest person in the world has a limit, and we are currently well past it. Passed it? I'm so tired I don't even care.



*happily throw myself while praying for the sweet release of death

I keep my change in tiny jars all around my room, a scavenger hunt for quarters last night. We keep finding ways in which I am an old lady (I hid my knitting lest he have another point), coziest up at 84 the same I was at 24, probably.

Socks never tangle in my sheets, let me rest my cold nose on your beard.

Hahhahahaahhaha

"Before I saw your name on the binder, I knew this was your temp work station."

#ocd

red trouser day is my favourite day of the week. oxford heels, grey knit v-neck, faded denim (always grey and blue, something), and obey scarf, inherited. hair from the 70s, come on mane, come on.

changing of the guard

scarves upon scarves, and little pom-poms ready to warm. plaid and plaid and wool, and how many blazers can one closet fit? (9)

niagara, florida, winnipeg and trinkets from south america and the past, watched over by Ahab

this needs some work yet, but i love how he hung my blanket. now, to cover those walls.

sure did